Muriel Cooper
Psychologist in Mornington

Happiness and success

 

Reaching happiness and success

Articles about achieving happiness, success and sustaining relationships.

Breathing your way out of Stress and Anxiety

Be stillThere us a special type of breathing which does just this.  This method of breathing is ‘conscious’ – that is, it’s not the breathing you simply do to stay alive, it’s deliberate and can be done at any time, not just when you feel stressed to anxious.  Be pro-active!

Relaxing breathing means breathing not into your chest but deep into your tummy or diaphragm which is below your chest.

The secret is that the out breath must be longer than the in breath.

Just say NOFor many of us, we find this excruciatingly painful.  Here are some suggestions.  Sticking up for yourself might feel uncomfortable at first but you’ll get used to it.

  • Be sure you really want to say no first. Is the thing you’re saying NO to unfair or unreasonable? Or do you just not want to do it? It makes a difference.
  • If you’re not sure, don’t make a rash decision. You can always ask for more time to respond or ask for clarification of the request.
  • If you decide to say NO, say it briefly and clearly. Don’t over-explain or go on and on trying to rationalize your decision. This could be used to talk you out of it since you will come across as being indecisive.
  • Don’t be coy with words; use the word "no". "No" is more powerful and clearer than "Well, I just don't think so..."
  • Make sure your body language is in line with your words. Often we unconsciously nod and smile when we’re actually saying “No”. It gives mixed messages.

AshtrayGIVE BAD HABITS A BREAK

How many bad habits did your last New Year’s Resolutions involve?

Smoking?
Nail biting?
Overeating?
Drinking too much?

Are you serious about something about them for good?

Why not decide its time to chuck those bad habits and introduce a new, more "blingy" you in 2008.
“Hah – easy for you!” – I hear you say. “Not easy – too darned hard – tried too many times – never worked”.

I am not going to promise you any easy fix. There will be no "Just put on this subliminal disc and give up smoking while you sleep" stuff. This will involve sustained effort. Most behavioural experts will tell you it takes 28 days to reverse a bad, unhealthy, or irritating-to-others habit.

Think of it as a change in lifestyle – like a weight loss program. You know if it’s taken you two years to put on ten kilos you’re not going to take it off in a week, unless it involves some pretty radical surgery (perhaps not to be recommended). We know we have to knuckle down to a sensible diet and exercise to achieve weight loss. So why shouldn’t we expect to put the same effort and commitment into other habits we want to get rid of.

Happy SunI breathe

I smile deep down into myself and up into my mind

I give myself a good, positive self-talking to

I exercise

I remember what I’m grateful for - what I’ve got - and then love it

I reward myself for every effort I make towards my own recovery

I Positively Daydream about uplifting memories or things to look forward to

I use a strength and turn it into an activity – creating – doing sport - writing

Happy MoonI return to nature – smell it – taste it – feel it

I give of myself – giving something to someone or something else feels good

I DO IT NOW !!!!!!!

­